


deux

by warmcuppatea



Category: One Direction (Band), One Direction : Post Break-Up
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, France - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, General, Song writing, but im saying the bands gonna break up, duo - Freeform, i'm not saying the bands gonna break up, one direction: post break-up, realistic characters, warmcuppatea, zayn and liam lose eachother but always find eachother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4895443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warmcuppatea/pseuds/warmcuppatea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam closes his eyes, feeling the French air hit his skin. The air is cold and it's windy out on the balcony, but Liam doesn't mind - it helps him think. He feels Zayn's presence before he sees him (that's some weird soulmate shit), and he relaxes his shoulders.</p><p>"We're gonna be okay," Zayn mumbled softly, and Liam could tell he had a fag between his lips. "This is okay, right?" Before Liam could answer, Zayn was speaking again. "It's just you and me, here in France. We... We don't have to be anything to anyone besides us, or even ourselves."</p><p>Liam wasn't sure that made sense, but he understood what Zayn was trying to say. "I know..." He said softly, licking his lips. "The other lads will be angry."</p><p>Zayn smiled a bit at that, finally lighting his cigarette and taking a drag. "I know. They're always worked up about someting." He said. "But i won't mind. It's just the two of us now. Two. Deux." He smiled a but and passed the fag to Liam.</p><p> ♥ ♥ ♥</p><p>(Or, in which Liam and Zayn become a duo a year after One Direction breaks up. And somewhere between the French air and song lyrics, no matter how often they lose each other, they always find each other.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. un

**Author's Note:**

> No characters, locations, or songs in this story are mine. The plotline, however, does belong to me. Please do not repost or translate this work. 
> 
> Thank you for your continued support of my writing! This is my first Ziam work, and I am so excited to let you guys into this amazing Canon that I have created. All ideas and feedback are welcomed!
> 
> I am also looking for a beta to pre-read chapters and bounce ideas off of. Please comment a way for me to contact you if you are interested.
> 
> thank you!
> 
> -m ♥ ♥ ♥

 

Rubbing his eyes, Liam sat up in bed. It was early still - probably before seven - but it was when Liam always woke up. World tours were awful for your body, and Liam’s morning runs made it even worse. He was an early bird by nature though, and once he was awake it was rare that he could get back to sleep.

 

Standing up, the first thing he was aware of was his nakedness. The second, his shame. And third - the girl in his bed. Danielle Peazer was his once-love but now occasional fuck buddy when both of them were single. And since last week… That’s exactly what Liam was. Thinking about Sophia made Liam upset, almost angry. How can you be so sure of something - of _someone_ , and suddenly they are completely sure that you _aren’t_ the one?

 

Why was it that the day Liam was planning on getting down on one knee, was the day Sophia came by his flat, rushed and uncoordinated to tell him it was over? That’s just kind of how Liam’s life is.

 

And Danielle was just… There. They live in the same building so it’s easy, and the boys that he used to know like the back of his hand have been gone for awhile. And Liam was drunk and sad, and Danielle was _there_ and so familiar. He took one look at her and sighed, standing up and heading to shower off.

 

He still had a collection of Sophia’s shampoos. Her toothbrush was still sitting next to his, and if he kept his eyes open it was like Sophia was in bed instead of Danielle. The thought of that made him close his eyes.

 

The band broke up seven months ago. Liam remembers it well. Seven months ago, himself and the three boys he used to spend all his time with stood together for the last time and called themselves One Direction. Aside from some conspiracy theorist fans, management just said that the boys would be working on side projects and that was all. But somehow, everyone saw through that lie.

 

There were supposed to be occasional drinks and their tradition of Thursday night movies and Friday night clubbing, but it all fell away and excuses of being busy and not having time were the new normal, and somewhere along the line all of them had stopped talking.

 

To Liam, at least.

 

What was supposed to be one honest solo interview turned into terror when Liam called out Louis and Harry. He did what management had told him to do, like he always did. But for some reason Louis got up in arms about it, said Liam hated him, and before Liam could blink they were in the middle of a fist fight. Niall had to pull them apart. Liam was just trying to catch his breath (Louis hadn’t hurt him at all, really) while Louis was sobbing to Harry, bloody and bruised when the words were uttered.

 

_I’m done. We can’t do this anymore._

 

And there was no fighting. No words at all. It was like they all knew it was time, and Liam has a knot in his stomach to this day from the fact that he broke the band up. Maybe it wasn’t all his fault, but he could have stood up to Management about it. He knew that as long as there was no rise from the ‘larries’ that Louis and Harry would be able to formally come out soon. And Liam’s interview… _His_ interview took that away from them.

 

Louis hasn’t made personal contact with him since. No words, not even a glance. He made up with Harry, and Niall had been a neutral party all along. But it was never the same. All of the boys in general were just different afterwards.

 

Liam shook his head as he toweled off from his shower, trying to shake the bad thoughts away. He rummaged quietly through his drawers, trying not to wake the sleeping girl in his bed. Once dressed, he went down to the gym, put his headphones in, and ran away from all of the thoughts of his former band, and his former brothers.

 

♥ ♥ ♥

 

Liam felt a lot better after running for an hour. His head felt a little less stuffy and he liked feeling a little more certain about himself. Even though he was one of five pop stars who had taken the world by storm and stolen millions of hearts, Liam wasn’t the most confident person, especially after thinking about the boys. In fact, he usually felt lesser-than in comparison. Niall was the life of the party. Everyone loved Niall, and his care free attitude. Louis was sarcastic and witty and funny, and everyone hung on every word that boy said. Harry was elegant. He was upper class, old money, front row of fashion week. And Liam was… Liam. The boy with four arrows on his arm that used to mean everything but now mean nothing.

 

He ran a hand through his hair as he came back into his flat, smiling when he saw Danielle was still there and making breakfast.

 

“I figured you’d need a good brekkie to go and cease the day.” She explained with a smile, cooking something that smelled a lot like Liam’s favorite omlette.

 

Liam frowned a bit, but kissed her cheek. “You’re lovely, Dani, but I think I would’ve been able to cease the day just fine on my couch, on an empty stomach.” He said, wrapping arms around her and giving her a hug. They were friends. With benefits, sometimes. But he still loved her. Even if she wasn’t the one for him, even though they didn’t work out, Danielle had become an important essential in his life. “But s’very sweet of you, thanks.”

 

Danielle licked her lips, softly, hiding a smile. “You actually will be conquering from somewhere other than your couch today, Leemo.” She said softly.It made Liam’s nose wrinkle a little with a smile. She made up the name Leemo, but for some reason she always sounded funny saying it. “I made some plans for you. And actually, it’s your turn to take Loki to get groomed as well.” She said, pulling away to plate the food, trying to sound as casual as possible.

 

“Course I’ll go get Loki done.” He said and nodded, moving to the refrigerator to get some orange juice for them both. “And what plans have you made? A trip to the grocery store?” He joked, smiling.

 

It wasn’t much of a secret that Liam had become a bit reclusive since the band broke up. He couldn’t help it - _everyone_ hated him, or so it felt. That was enough to make someone content with staying inside all day. Liam loved people, and people visited him a lot, but people were starting to worry about his health. Danielle specifically always tried to get him to go out, be it to lunch with Ruth, or to take Loki to the park. Liam tried. But he always felt so drained afterwards that he didn’t go out again for awhile.

 

“Actually,” she said, and Liam recognized the tell-tale troublemaker look on her lips. “Johan Shellback called. He’s in London and wanted to write with you. And he’s meeting you at the cafe in an hour or so.”

 

Liam looked up from his juice, a bit surprised. He hadn’t written anything since the fifth album, which was written over a year ago. And that was all with… _Louis._ He hadn’t written solo in, well, since he was famous. “Johan Shellback? Taylor’s friend?” He asked with a sigh. “Dani…”

 

“Yes, Liam. Taylor Swift recommended you off of good word. This is an amazing chance for you, and I knew you wouldn't take it, so I took it _for_ you.” She explained. “So, eat up. Do your hair all fancy-like and go meet him. He’s dying to work with you.” She said and kissed his cheek, taking her food with her.

 

“You’re not staying?” he asked, deciding not to fight her. He could just call Johan and cancel.

 

“I’ll take Loki for you, rain check.” She said with a smile, walking out the door.

 

Liam smiled a bit fondly. “You’re too good for me!” He called after her. The only response he got was the slam of the door and a muffled laugh.

 

♥ ♥ ♥

 

“Liam Payne, wonderful to meet you.”

 

Liam wasn’t sure exactly how he ended up in downtown London, in a small hole-in-the-wall cafe, meeting Johan. He tried to call and cancel and before he knew it Johan had him hooked. The man was a lyrical genius and Liam needed to get in on something of his. Having not written in awhile, his creative juices were flowing even more than usual. So here he was, sitting across from a man with crazy long hair and tons of ideas.

 

“Shellback. Nice to meet you too. Taylor has told me so much about you.” He smiled, opening what looked to be like the world’s oldest Moleskine.

 

Liam nodded and smiled, ordering a cuppa when the waitress came over. He hadn’t brought any ideas with him on paper. He had a few voice memos and some lyrics in his head, but that was all. “All good, I hope.” He smiled and relaxed in his chair. “What specifically made you call me?” Liam asked after a few minutes of watching Johan flip through his notebook.

 

He looked up at Liam and smiled. “I’ve actually gotten quite a few good recommendations, but today I’m working with a collaborator on a song for his first album. He loves you, big fan, and said he might need help from me to get you here. The song’s good, I promise. We’re just looking for some of that jazz/top 40 flair that you naturally have as a lyricist.”

 

Liam nodded, impressed at that. “Wow. Well tell your collaborator that I’m honored.” He said, smiling. That made Liam feel good about himself. Someone actually desired to work with him. “What’s the song called, then? Is there a title yet?”

 

Johan smiled. “Nothing yet, so far we just have a few very poetic lines, and we’re looking to you for that hook, that pow that will get people to press ‘replay’.” He explained, to which Liam nodded. “It’s a simple song - that’s what he wants. Simple and deep. So far we have this for the intro: ‘ _don’t look around cause love is blind, and darling right now I can’t see you_ ’.

 

Liam rolled the words over his tongue. “That’s lovely. I think the song would be awesome with a more jazzy feel.” He explained, pattering a little beat out on the table. “Something fast, but melodically slow at the same time.

 

“I think he’d love that.” Johan said, humming through it after adding in Liam’s beat. “You’re a natural at this, Liam. When he gets here, he’s gonna be amazed.”

 

“Oh, he’s coming?” He asked with a smile, sitting up. Liam always loved meeting fans, and someone who specifically requested him to help write and who wrote those beautiful lyrics, maybe that’d make Liam feel better about himself.

 

Shellback nodded. “Should be in here any second.” He said. “What if we did something along the lines of heavy vibrato in the intro and verses following, but the chorus was definitive and strong? You know…”

 

Liam was nodding along, about to give his approval for the idea, when suddenly there was another person dragging a chair up to the table. Liam had to blink a few times, looking away from him and then back to him again in disbelief. He hadn’t seen that face in person for over a year and a half now. He looked at him, dead in the eyes. This had to be an ironic coincidence, and this wasn’t the person they were meeting.

 

“Shellback, how’s my song coming?”

 

Johan smiled at him and told him to sit, explaining what him and Liam had come up with so far.

 

Liam was sitting next to Zayn Malik, brother turned ex-bandmate who hadn’t returned a text since the one saying they were having an emergency band meeting - the one in which Zayn announced his departure. His hair was slicked back and his white tee shirt was ridden with holes and somehow Liam found him to be the same Zayn that left the band in the dust. He smelled of smoke and London air and Liam let out a shaky breath.

  
This was going to fucking _kill_ him.


	2. deux

Every time Liam found himself looking at Zayn, he got a bit dizzy.

 

Because, first off - was Zayn even _real?_ Zayn was the definition of flawless. He was tanned, toned, with perfect hair. His eyes were piercing, and he had mastered the ‘bad boy’ look by fifteen. In Liam’s honest opinion, Zayn was as close to perfect as someone could get.

 

But the thing was - that Zayn wasn’t _100 percent_ perfect. Because he had just up and left the boys. And all the media outlets and fans think they know why, but the truth is that they don’t because _Liam_ isn’t even sure why Zayn left. Liam, Zayn’s former best friend, wasn’t even told the reason why his whole life was going to be flipped upside down. (When Liam first ranted about this, Niall told him that that was a bit dramatic, and something he would more expect of Louis rather than Liam, but Liam just ignored him. Because the thing is, Niall didn’t see what Liam saw. Liam saw it all coming - the media backlash, the fighting, the rumors. He saw it all when no one else did, and maybe that’s what got him so upset in the first place.)

 

Liam felt awful, too. Because there were so many questions in his head, so many things he wanted to say. But with Johan- _freaking_ -Shellback sitting between the two of them, that could never happen.

 

That’s what their manager would call a social casualty : a common bystander trusted with information they shouldn’t be trusted with, and who knows who they would tell? Or who else would hear? It was an accident just waiting to happen. And Liam would _not_ be responsible for _that_ , thank you. Because as free as Liam and the other boys were from Modest! Management, Modest! still owns One Direction as a five- and fourpiece.

 

Maybe it was a good thing that Shellback was there, though. It was obvious that Zayn didn’t mind hiding behind the fact that this was an uncomfortable meetup. _God,_ Shellback was even acting like it was a surprise for Liam or something. It made Liam want to throw up a bit, to be quite honest. And after a few hours of listening to Zayn’s beautiful hums and murmured falsetto musings, Liam was at the end of his rope.

 

“You know, I would love to stay…” He trailed off, grabbing his stuff and leaving a 20 note on the table for the waiter (who had already signed an NDA about the writing, of course.) “But I’m actually busy tonight.”

 

“Liam Payne has plans?” Zayn said with a laugh, looking up at him, and… Well.

 

Liam knew somewhere deep inside that Zayn didn’t mean that. He knew that Zayn was still Zayn and that _Zayn_ knew that that would hurt Liam’s feelings. He knew that it was a big accomplishment to come out and sit for hours with one person he didn’t know, and another he hadn’t known in a year or two. He knew Danielle would be proud of him, and that Zayn was joking.

 

But, _was_ Zayn joking?

 

Shellback was laughing too. Because he probably doesn’t doubt Liam’s lie about having plans. But Zayn knows it’s not true, and that’s depressing, actually. Zayn can probably see it in the way Liam’s lip twitches.

 

“Yes, actually. I do have plans tonight.” He said, with a slight glare.

 

Zayn raised a brow. “Really, and what would those plans be?”

 

Liam had to make up something, quick. It couldn’t be Danielle, because the boys think he hates her still. And Niall was back in Mullingar for awhile. So he said the first thing that came to mind.

 

“I’m actually going to visit Will - I’m, uh. I’m babysitting tonight for Harry and Louis.”

 

Liam knew by the look on his face that Zayn didn’t buy that lie.

 

♥♥♥

 

Liam sat in his car, pondering why on earth, out of everyone he knew, he chose Harry and Louis. The two people that hated him the most were the ones that he was trying to beg to save his ass against his former best friend. This was a little too much for him to handle. The phone rang a couple times, and Liam felt his heart beating in his chest. Never before had he felt so much anxiety calling someone he has known for so long, someone he knew everything about. But the thing with Harry and Louis was, that they didn't think _Liam_ was the same person that they knew everything about. They thought Liam had betrayed them, they thought Liam had destroyed them on purpose, but that wasn't the truth. It wasn't even close. Liam was just doing what he thought to be right. He was just doing what he thought was the good thing to do, that was all that he ever did, but this time apparently he didn't do the right thing.

 

“Hello?” Harry answered the phone with a yawn. It was their house line, and Liam was pretty sure he only got an answer because Harry probably hadn’t checked the caller ID.

 

“Harry?” He said, before swallowing. “It’s Liam.”

 

There was a long pause, and Liam heard some rustling before Harry spoke again. “Liam? What is it?” He asked, urgency threading through his voice.

 

Liam swallowed, how was he already messing this up? “No, I’m sorry - nothing’s wrong..” He explained. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

Harry sighed in relief. “God, Liam. I haven’t heard from you in months - I thought you were dead or something!” He said, and Liam just knew he had a hand clutching his chest. He heard some mumbling in the background, before Harry dismissed the noise with a few words. “Well, uh, now that I know you’re okay, what’s up?”

 

Harry sounded a bit awkward. Which - that wasn’t anything new. Liam knew full well that Harry was an awkward person, and so he tried not to be offended, but this wasn’t his normal awkward. This is the ‘ _My husband hates you, so I kind of hate you but not really_ ’ awkward. And that made Liam cringe a bit, but he didn’t really have a choice. He had to actually have plans just in case Zayn decided to ask Harry or Louis about it.

 

“Actually, I need to call in a favor.” He said and bit his lip. “Can I, um, watch Will for you tonight? Maybe you could take Lou out on a date or summat?

 

Harry pondered it for a moment. “I suppose I should ask why that’s considered a favor to you, but I’ll just go with it because William has been a bit terrible lately and all our regular sitters are busy.” He said in his slow, honey dripping voice. “What time can you come over?”

 

“I can leave London in an hour, I’ll bring Loki down with me.” He said. “Is that okay?”

 

Harry smiled to himself. “I’m sure he’ll love that. That’s perfect. Now Liam-” He said and paused himself. “Louis’ been in a really good mood as of recently. I don’t think he’ll start anything, but if he does..”

 

Liam nodded, understanding. “I’ll evade the situation.” He agreed. “I’ll be an angel, H. Promise.”

 

“Perfect. Thanks, Li, see you soon.”

 

And that was the thing, Liam realized as he was driving back to his flat. Harry and Louis (somewhere deep inside) still trusted him with their lives. Because in all reality, Harry should have hung up on Liam and told him to go to hell. But it never happened. Because not only did Harry have the biggest heart ever, but he also knew that somewhere inside, Liam had a big heart also. And it was only an hour and forty five minutes later that Liam found himself wandering back to Harry and Louis’ house from a backroad.

 

Their house was something out of a fairytale. It was set back deep behind some mystical looking trees. It was huge, and had tons of room for their kids to play one day. It was private and cozy and everything Liam would never have. Liam always loved visiting. This was their main home - they had one in Los Angeles, as well as a cottage in France, a personal island in the Caribbean, and many more properties that they used for their families.

 

Liam walked slowly, allowing Loki to sniff around as he stayed a few feet near Liam. Loki was a good dog, and he was reacquainting himself with the area since he hadn’t been over in awhile. Liam whistled for him though, and he came running.

 

“Loki!!!”

 

Liam looked up to see Loki running straight to the wrap-around deck of the house, where four-year old William stood. Blonde hair, blue eyes - he was a Tomlinson for sure. He was the definition of sass and knew how to get everything he wanted, and Liam personally loved Will so much that it made his chest hurt.

 

William crouched down to give Loki the biggest hug. Loki was a small dog, but he didn’t look all that small in the kid’s arms. Loki loved the attention, happily licking at his face as the boy smothered him.

 

“William Oliver Tomlinson, where on earth are you running off to without shoes on?”

 

Liam froze, five feet from the porch. Louis was a bit stunning in that respect. He never understood why people looked at him like Liam currently was - he almost took it as an insult. But that was the thing - Liam saw it clear as day. Everyone looked at Louis like he was the sun.

 

In another life, Louis could have been a prince, or a model. Here, standing in his tightest trousers and a perfectly tailored dress shirt, Liam didn’t understand how Louis had ever had a self-conscious phase. Liam, personally, thought Louis was gorgeous.

 

(But, not in the gay way, because for it to be in a gay way, Liam would have to be gay. Which he was _one hundred and one percent_ not. Because Liam liked girls. In fact, he loved Sophia and loved _sleeping_ with Danielle, which made him at _least one hundred and five percent not_ gay. He didn’t understand why people said he might be, or ever thought he was. Because Liam wasn’t… gay. He wasn’t scrawny and he didn’t have a high voice, and his twink years were long gone.

 

He just - he didn’t think there was anything wrong with being able to say that he was in fact one hundred and five percent straight, but that Louis had a nice bum and looked kind of delicious. it didn’t make him _gay_ \- it was a common fact. And of course, all the boys had, you know, gotten off together at some point or another on the tour bus. And he didn’t want to always fuck every boy that walked by so of course he wasn’t gay.

 

_Right?_ )

 

Liam’s inner soliloquy was broken by Louis stepping right in front of him, William in his arms. (When did Louis even move? Liam wasn’t sure.) Louis looked him up and down, trying -and succeeding- to be intimidating.

 

“Liam. Harry told me you’d be coming by tonight.” He said, William situated on his hip. Loki jumped a bit at Louis’ knees, trying to get his play buddy down.

 

Liam swallowed a bit. “Yeah. I thought you guys could use a nice night out, and I also thought William might have some fun playing with Loki and making s’mores or summat.”

 

Louis expression softened for a few seconds, but Liam saw it and that made all the difference. He looked just like William. They were really twins. Same facial features, same lips, same devious smirk. Liam took it all in. Louis licked his lips a bit, before setting William down, with a soft murmur. “Go to Daddy, love. He has your shoes so you can play with Loks, okay?”

 

William nodded and ran inside, letting Loki come in with him.

 

Liam looked at him. “Mate,”

 

“This doesn’t mean I forgive you; that’s not even close to what this means.” He said simply. “It just means that… We’re letting you play with William and have fun tonight. But- this doesn’t change things much, okay?” He said, as if he was letting Liam down easily.

 

Liam nodded, understanding. “Yeah, of course.” he said. ‘Thank you.” he added.

 

Louis nodded, before heading back up to the porch. “Jesus.” He murmured. “My shoes are right filthy, that boy’s lucky I have another pair of dress shoes to wear tonight.” He mumbled.

 

Liam smiled a bit at that. “He gets it from you, Dad.”

 

Louis smiled at that. “I suppose he does, doesn’t he?”

 

William was a complete menace. A hurricane in a perfectly clean house. William was just like Louis, actually. He was a reckless lover and a fighter for anything - and _everything_ \- that he believed in. He would put up the biggest fights over the littlest things, and Louis always got so frustrated. He didn’t understand how Harry did it. Harry just kneeled in front of the boy, looked in his eyes, and spoke to him until he was calm once again.

 

Eventually, Louis realized that that’s the same thing Harry does to him when _he’s_ upset, so yeah, he supposes it makes sense. Louis and William were twins. Louis’ secret obsession was matching his and Will’s clothing. Will loved eating the same thing that his Papa ate, and it was all very cute.

 

Of course, William wasn’t Harry’s genetically. But he wasn’t the accident the media made him out to be. Because in fact, Briana was a surrogate who was a complimentary match for the Tomlinson genes. So they chose her, and nine months later she was gone. She ruined her life reputation for a few million dollars, but that was her own choice. Everyone thought she had delivered the baby and ran, leaving him with Louis and Harry. It didn’t make a difference to any of them.

 

Liam followed Louis inside, watching him leave his muddy shoes by the door and doing the same himself. He watched Liam bend and fix the cuffs of his trousers, before picking William up and spinning him once. “You are crazy, my love. But I love you so anyways.” He said and kissed his forehead.

 

William laughed loudly. “Love you too, Papa!”

 

Harry watched from the hallway, looking at Louis in awe. He loved seeing him with William, and seeing Louis in a good mood (like he had been today, especially with Liam) was a rare treat. He took a picture of the two of them on his phone, before turning to Liam, because it looked like it was his turn to be the serious parent.

 

“Okay, well all our information is on the kitchen table, along with some activities and some snacks. Call if you need us, but try not to. We’ve decided to go out of town for the night, so if you could stay that’d be lovely, and if not my mum is free and her number is on the paper.” He said with a smile. “Will’s schedule is there, along with his book list for kindergarten.” He said with a proud smile.

 

Liam nodded a bit. He hadn’t realized they’d be going away, but he supposed that it was fine since he was offering and all. Harry talked him through a few more details, before he tore Louis away from William. “Okay, love, let’s go so we make our reservation.” He smiled, watching William run off.

 

Liam watched Will go find something to play with, looking away as he heard Harry mumble to Louis.

 

“Can’t waste your time here in those tight trousers, hm? Tonight you’re all mine.”  Harry murmured into his ear. Liam supposed he might be trying to sound seductive. But Louis must not of heard it either because he simply giggled as Harry nibbled his ear.

 

“You’re all talk and no walk, Harold, come on.” He said and pulled Harry out to their car. They shouted a goodbye before the door slammed shut.

 

♥♥♥

 

Once William had been put to bed (not without struggle, _of course_ ), Liam had the night to himself. He had informed Anne that he would stay over until Louis and Harry returned the next afternoon, and he was browsing over the notes they had left him. It was all doctor’s numbers and family telephone numbers, and Zayn’s number.

 

Which - that was surprising. Liam figured it was just because Louis and Zayn got on so well that Zayn must come and watch him sometimes, so if Liam had questions he could ask Zayn. He tried not to think of Zayn because he was still hoping that the whole songwriting thing was a complete fluke, even though the song had turned out amazing. He was excited to have his name on a song that deep, but it made him feel a little queasy when he remembered that it was Zayn’s song.

 

Liam was in the middle of an intense American Horror Story marathon when the front door clicked open. He jumped up a bit, heading to the foyer. “Will, love? Is that you?” He asked, peeking around the dark corridor.

 

The light flicked on, and Zayn was standing there with a smirk. “Just me, Leemo.” He said and took off his coat, hanging it on the coat hanger.

 

Liam blinked in disbelief. “You - you fucking came to check up on my plans?!” He asked, arms crossing over his chest. He quickly lowered his voice though, as he didn’t want to wake William.

 

“I’m not checking on your plans, I knew they were fake.” He explained. Liam was silent, as if waiting for more information. “I’m living with H and Lou for a few months while my penthouse in London is getting redone.” He said. “I was supposed to be the sitter for tonight, so thank you for taking that burden off me.”

 

Liam couldn’t do much more than blink. “Are you _serious?_ ” He asked. “I just - What are you doing, Zayn? Why would you ‘request me as a collaborator’ on a fucking song if you don’t even feel the need to talk to me?” He asked, looking at him. Zayn went to answer, but Liam didn’t let him. “I don’t want to hear it. Z, when the band broke up, you were on my side. You were the only one on my side and you left me alone.” He said with a sigh. “I just don’t get why you want me to write with you.”

 

Zayn sighed a bit. He honestly hadn’t been expecting Liam to be so angry, but he figured it was just a feeling. “I understand what you’re saying, okay? But it’s not what you think it is.”

 

Liam laughed a little. “Of course it isn’t what I think it is. It’s never what anyone thinks when they’re with you, is it?” He asked. “Please.. Just go to bed, and leave me alone to continue my marathon.”

  
Zayn licked his lips tentatively, looking at the television. “AHS? I’m in.” He said and toed his shoes off. And before long, Zayn was sitting next to Liam, making small talk about the episode. Liam rolled his eyes a bit at Zayn, deciding not to respond. But Zayn kept talking, though. 

And somewhere between Zayn’s snorts and snide comments, Liam forgot that Zayn was ever gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> questions, comments, thoughts, kudos, bookmarks, ect are all welcomed and dearly loved!
> 
> what do you guys think so far of deux? i hope you're loving it! the story really starts to pick up after this point :) 
> 
> thank you all, lovelies 
> 
> -m ♥♥♥


	3. trois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!!! For the record, this chapter is VERY short, and that would be because on my master document, I copy/pasted the wrong part of my story to include most of chapter two and only a fraction of chapter three. So, I have taken it off, and please know that a new chapter will be posted tonight! 
> 
> Again, I am so sorry! Much thanks to aZiamFan for pointing out this issue.
> 
> AND, if there is anyone who would like to beta, I could obviously use the help! Haha!

 

From _ **Shellback** : hey boys when r u free to keep workin on the song???_

 

From _**Payno** : heeeey sry but idnt think i can make it for awile bcos im home w family :) :) :)_

 

From _**Shellback** : aw leem wont b the same w/o you!_

 

From _**Zaynnn** :  we cant do it without liam tho_

 

From _**Payno** : sorry z but u know fmlyfirst! qsj_

 

From _**Shellback** : its ok zayn i think i have an idea where were goin w this number! thx payno_

 

From _**Zaynnn** : wtf liam i saw u at h&l’s this morn at brekkie_

 

From **Zaynnn** : _u got to wolver that fast???_

 

From **Payno** : _sry last minute. mum has withdrawls im sure u understand. thx shelly_

 

From _**Shellback** : no prob mate ! z do u want to meet up today to cut a demo???_

 

From _**Zaynnn** : im fuckin serious bro_

 

From _**Zaynnn** : like if liam doesnt write it then im out._

 

♥♥♥

 

C _all from : **Shellback (Songwriter)**_

Liam sighed, frustrated, as he declined the third call in a row from Johan. It wasn’t that he was avoiding talking to Johan… Well, maybe just a little. The text conversation between himself, Johan, and Zayn had ended rather abruptly.

 

Because, the thing was that Liam didn’t know what to do about Zayn. He felt like one second he and Zayn were friends watching _American Horror Story_ together, and the next Zayn was icing him out again. After that one night, which led to both of them falling asleep on the couch, Liam woke up to Zayn saying goodbye to only William.

 

And maybe it meant nothing. Maybe it was so routine that Zayn didn’t think twice, but maybe he thought twice because they hadn’t talked in forever and Zayn went right back to ignoring him. The thought made Liam want to throw up a bit, and he just wasn’t the same when Louis and Harry got home, and he headed out of the magical garden with Loki.

 

So when Johan called back for a fourth time, Liam answered. Because first off, he felt bad for Johan if he felt the need to call anyone more than twice. Secondly, because he was sick and tired of hearing his ringtone, which was Loki barking. (Even though it was cute, it got annoying after awhile) And thirdly, because Liam was curious of what Johan had to say. He thought maybe it was an offer to work on another song, to meet for lunch with him and Taylor, or even to just hang out.

 

“Liam,” Johan said, not letting Liam even say hello to him before he was speaking. “Hear me out, please. I need you to do this song.” He explained, rushing. “I need to get another huge artist under my belt. I’ve only worked with Taylor recently, and working with the two of you would make all the difference here. Please.. Do the song. It’s one song - what difference will it make to someone like you?”

 

Liam blinked a few times. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Hey, Mate… I’m sorry, I didn’t know how important this was to you.” He explained to him. He felt bad, because he didn’t wait to ruin Shellback’s hopes. Because really, he was helping Johan as much as Johan was helping him. Johan was bringing Liam out of his shell. “You know what, I think I can make time for it - you’re right. It’s one song, and I’ve worked with Zayn before, so it’s nothing new.” He said, more convincing himself.

 

“You’ll do the song with Zayn? Wow, thank you Liam!” He said excitedly. “You two will sound amazing together. I’ll send over the backtrack when I’m done with it, along with the proposed arrangement.”

 

“Backtrack? Sound good?” Liam was baffled. “We’re just writing - right?”

 

Johan laughed. “Sorry, Zayn said he told you! We finished off the lyrics - it’s called _I Won’t Mind_ \- and now you two just have to record it! It’s gonna be the best duet to hit the European market this year! Thank you, Liam!” He said and hung up.

 

Liam sighed and rubbed his face. He quickly dialed the number that he hadn’t helped but remembered.

  
“Zayn, what is going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments. kudos, bookmarks, etc are all appreciated!
> 
> please don't be a silent reader ♥ please give feedback and help me think of ideas to incorporate!
> 
> ALSO: I am looking for a beta for this story, and my story ' Your Name Tattooed in an (Arrow) Heart"! Comment your email address if interested!
> 
> thank you xxx
> 
> -m ♥♥♥


	4. quatre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> touching this story again for the first time in like THREE YEARS. 
> 
> no big deal!
> 
> enjoy! please remember I was writing this in early 2015 before the hiatus was even announced - so there are of course inaccuracies since those events hadn't happened yet. 
> 
> -m

All Liam was greeted with was a muffled sigh, which Zayn knew to mean that Liam was smoking. Which wasn’t all that surprising - it was a bad habit of his that he’d passed on to all of the boys at one point or another. Liam waited for an answer, but for a minute they really just listened to each other’s breathing - in and out, soothing and dependable. 

“Zayn,” he pressed, after the soft pause. “C’mon, mate.” He said, sighing weakly. “Like - what the actual  _ fuck _ is going on?”

He heard Zayn stubbing out the butt of his cigarette in the ashtray. “It’s natural, in’nit? For us to work together on this, make it ours? Like you said, we’ve always been a  _ team-” _

That had Liam a little annoyed. “A team, hm?” He asked, ignoring Zayn’s attempt to cut in and explain himself. “You decided you had to leave the band. And I fucking  _ understood _ . Mate, we all knew it wasn’t easy and we all knew it wasn’t forever. But you left without a goodbye and left us with questions and quotes to say in interviews that everyone knew meant nothing.” He exhaled shakily. Had all this really been on his chest for so long? “And you pretended like you didn’t know who we were - so busy wrapped in yourself and whoever was in your bed that week. We used to talk about everything and now we’ve become strangers, and it’s like you won’t even admit it to yourself.”

“I’m sorry.” Zayn sighed, staying quiet.

Which - Zayn wasn’t one to apologize. He owned his actions and lived a life that was unapologetically his - doing what he loved, where he loved, when he loved it, with whomever he was currently loving. When you fought with him, he may explain that he was in error, or that he was being misrepresented or misunderstood, but he never apologized because it wasn’t of his character.  So, Liam thought his response was warranted.

“What?” He asked, brows furrowing.

Zayn sighed. “Come to France.”

“ _ What?” _ Liam said, a small laugh at the end. “Zayn, seriously. I don’t fucking understand-”

“I’m here writing my album, needed a break from H and L for a few days..., and  _ fuck _ , Liam. Just come to France.” Zayn must have been able to sense Liam’s hesitation. “I know you don’t have plans, Dani can watch Loki, and I know you want to see me. I’ll -” he paused before sighing. “I’ll explain everything when you get here. It’s not what you think it is. I swear.”

Liam sighed, rubbing his face. He really had no reason to say no. Zayn saw right through him - Danielle must have been in on this,  _ fuck _ \- and he honestly wanted the answers that Zayn was seeming to promise. He didn’t know what the fuck he was getting into, but it couldn’t be much worse than his current ritual of hiding out in his flat and shagging his ex. 

“Send me the address.” 

♥♥♥

The trip from London (because of course Liam was a shit liar and hadn’t gone to Wolverhampton) to just outside of Paris took Liam over 6 hours. He’d debated taking a Eurorail but figured that he really didn’t want to be surrounded by people for two hours. Long gone were the day that being stormed by teenage girls was normal to him. Although he considered it briefly - a legitimate panic attack would give him a reason to avoid Zayn for sure. 

But Liam didn’t want to be  _ that _ Liam. He wanted to be bold and sure and happy and confident. And if he couldn’t be happy right now, he could at least be bold, sure, and confident. So he threw a case in his car and was off. He stopped off twice for some coffee and once for dinner, but kept going through miles of the English countryside, a ferry car transport, and a time zone change. 

He arrived at what he presumed to be Zayn’s place around 7:30, Central European. He saw Zayn’s motorcycle and shook his head. Had he ridden it all the way here? It seemed impossible but Liam wouldn’t be surprised. He grabbed his case out of the back and locked the car. The house was the only one he’d seen for miles, but he felt like safety was always a good precaution to take. He walked up to the door and knocked twice, before waiting. 

Zayn answered, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips. He gave a soft smile and walked away, leaving the door open. Liam followed him inside silently. Photos of Harry and his sister line the hallways, with a few baby pictures of Louis and William thrown in. He frowned a bit.

“It’s actually Anne’s place,” He explained. “Well, Haz owns it. Gave it to her. She’s on holiday though, so they’re letting me stay for a bit.” He shrugged. 

“You’re pretty close to them, then,” Liam said, his lips tight. He hadn’t expected that somehow. 

Zayn shrugged, noticing his expression. “I mean I could lie and tell you that I’m not, but that wouldn’t make you feel any better. So yeah, we are close. Have been since a few months ago.” 

Liam frowned, a bit like a child who had just had a band-aid ripped off his arm. “Okay. So is that what I just drove six hours for?”

Zayn sighed, looking at him. “I made dinner. Let’s eat, okay? Then we can try this again.”

♥♥♥

Zayn had made bolognese, which just happened to be one of Liam’s favorites. That made Liam’s heart flip a little bit - that Zayn had been thinking of him enough to go ahead and make his favorite meal. A plate and a half and three glasses of wine a piece later, and the conversation was flowing. Alcohol often helped Liam to let go, but he rarely indulged, because even though he had a clean bill of health, he always tried to be careful not to take advantage of it.

Liam was on the perfect side of giggly and tipsy and Zayn seemed a bit red-cheeked and happy himself. He must have been smoking pot earlier, Liam thought to himself because Zayn wasn’t a lightweight by any means. Or this was some strong wine.

“So why’d you leave us? Why’d you leave  _ me _ ?” Liam asked, after a bit of laughter that led to silence.

Zayn blinked a few times, chocolate eyes meeting Liam’s. “Because I was in love with you, and there was nothing I could do about that.” He said with a soft smile and a shrug.

Liam’s brain didn’t really compute that. “I’m not gay,” Was his response.

“Neither am I,” Zayn said and smiled at him. “But I’m pretty sure, you’re like, my soulmate, or some weird shit.”

Liam searched Zayn’s eyes for any sense that he was joking - any little glint to show he was pulling a fast one on Liam. And he saw nothing. He sighed softly, grabbing the wine bottle and taking a swig out of it. He licked his lips. “So… Why did you leave, then?”

“I’m here now.” Was Zayn’s response.

“But-” Liam stopped himself from saying anything else, tipsy smile gone. Zayn pulled the leg of his chair closer - they were sitting side by side - with his ankle.

“What? He asked him, closing the space between them.

Liam closed his eyes, unable to look at him, as he thought of the deep depression he’d been in. He didn’t blame Zayn for it, that wouldn’t be fair… But could Zayn have helped him? Zayn, his best friend and other half, his brother, his life? Instead of just abandoning him and pretending Liam was a lost cause, what if Zayn had been there? He knew it was because he felt like the band’s split was his fault. That was why everyone - especially Louis - hated him. He knew Zayn couldn’t actually change that. But for months, he had felt so singled out, so unworthy of love, and like all he did was break things that were seemingly unfixable. He had gone from a world-famous singer with just a few confidence issues to a used-to-be boybander who could barely leave the confines of his apartment building. He had felt isolated and alone, and for the first few weeks, he wondered why he was even still alive. The fans were disappointed in them (which was Liam’s fault), Louis specifically hated him, and Harry was on his side obviously. What difference would a pair of tattooed arms and brown eyes have made? Set aside this soulmate shit that Zayn was talking about, just even as a friend, what difference would it have made?

It was like Zayn had heard every word of this inner monologue he was having with himself. He leaned in, kissing Liam’s lips softly, pulling away before Liam was even sure it had happened.

“I know. But I’m here now.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! i appreciate any and all feedback that i receive!
> 
> don't be a silent reader! please comment and bookmark to show you ♥♥♥ the story!
> 
> -m ♥♥♥


End file.
